Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
