She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
