who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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