He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
