dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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