New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
