Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
