I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
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