i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
