my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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