The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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