How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
So. Much. Porn.
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