I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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