yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I party with great urgency now.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
