you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
