Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
