problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
