Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
