You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Couch. On fire.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
