True but thats because hes a fetus.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
