didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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