remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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