im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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