oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
