he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
accomplished twins. life is a go
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
