Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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