Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
