his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
