3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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