Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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