If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
