I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
