She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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