Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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