remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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