omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
