She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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