Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
