Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he fucked my hip out of place.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
