I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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