Girls should come with a carfax report
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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