Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
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