Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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