3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
