Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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