Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
