Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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