If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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