Jerry, you need to find god
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
