There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
